Jian is now a Kukujian

Slightly more than 1 month running under wordpress, i really cant resist it anymore.. needed to have 1 so badly, 1 tat will represent many of my journey.. journey of manhood..

Blast forward to kukujian.com!

ps: thanks for your time at jian.wordpress.com, this page will offically halt and the legacy will continue and be bolder at kukujian!

Lost Another Virgin ~ Waitress

Hah and finally I lost this one.. made me all excited thinking how tough could this be? Serve ppl make ppl happy see them smile and thank you for serving them, damn not the prostitute way, by serving them drinks.. Nic and I were both anxious as we were given XL uniform and it’s clearly for SUMO – none of us wanted to wear it, too retro like high school days were all our shirts were over the elbow, now we wanna show more biceps.. well, both in red in contrast to the official white polo tee..

Kianti@pkj, there was a function apparently for Symantec on some kinda appreciation with a pax of 30++. Nic and I were given a role, wat exactly till now I still can be sure but we were there physically, to be waitress..

Before it all started, we tot we were gonna be in need for some training, after all, we were both bar virgin really, not much direction though, and look and our 1st task, wipe glasses. Dip the tip of the glass into a busket of warm water, and wipe it.. 1 hand turn the base and 1 hand grip the cloth and twist it round and round and round till satisfied.. this is so windmill..  

There were moment were we just stand around looking and smiling and occasionally breathe a bit, i can’t still keep track on the number of assignment tat i executed.. actually the number of ppl tat i served. A smart guy asked for coke and i served him twice, but a better one was a green shirt lady, in her mid-20s i guess, looks fine but she keeps on drinking orange juice. Guess i’ve served her 3/4  glasses of orange juice. Oh she just loves this juice, u can tell by her wanting more.. It wasn’t that bad after all, they acknowledge when u serve them well, they respond to u and says thanks.. hah tat’s manners, and it wasn’t fake..

There were 4 Myanmar guys there as the real waitress. There was this one named Tu-Rak, i’m sure to get that wrong but that was how they pronouced it. he’s the youngest among those and looks like the laziest, well probably the scapegoat. The manager always seems to pick on him, and the cutest part – he looks at me and gives that weak smile and shake his head a bit, giving certain body language that the boss sucks..

Wanching was great, she came over on numerous times just to check on us and make sure we are okay.. and order dinner for us – Fish & Chips. WIthout the mayo, this is gonna be so plain.. didn’t complain much as it was on the house..

 Frankly it wasn’t great but it was dinner, actually enjoyed the set lunch which we were supposed to have our “training” in the afternoon, not to be.. but the Baked Seafood Thai Style tasted kukuly good! a good mix of tomato paste with tom yam.. not enuf to fill a good o’tummy but was just nice..

Back to the freelance waitress task, well the food served there was too much! Too bad it didn’t really kick up, they left slightly after 9pm.. Didn’t really get started on drinking yet, well guess there were no female Tiger promoters to short skirt their hormones up, wat can a few myanmars and 2 virgin batang do to make them drink more?!

Not that bad though, we ended up rewarding ourselves with self-service

tiger from the barrel.. but we sucked, no skill and the mug was filled fully with bubbles.. did better with the scout, looks like we need to be slow and hit the wall hard while it leaks into the mug.. ah hah! Lesson learnt, and the filler’s tap of the Tiger was oh so smoothh, no wonder so many are addicted to the liquid coming out from the pipe..

443 Chicks Dead – by Screaming

This will be my personal news of the year till date:

“BEIJING, China (Reuters) — Hundreds of chickens have been found dead in east China — and a court has ruled that the cause of death was the screaming of a four-year-old boy who in turn had been scared by a barking dog, state media reported on Wednesday.” full story >>

What a good way to release stress during SARS and get rid of infected chicks by not physically killing them.. better still, for normal cases, this will save lotsa time in standard butchering process, no need to boil them and chase after them to slaughter.. Sooner or later, these chicks will get together and invent an ear block..

Cute Petite Combat Session

It’s been a while since my last Body Combat session, was kinda looking forward to the 915pm slot with Renee, one of the most crowd magnet instructor in True Fitness. Apparently, it’s a replacement instructor taking over. I did a peep into the class around 910pm and it was so cold and empty, and another peep at the instructor and i turned away wanting to go wash up and head home..

There have been several crappy instructors for combat that i’ve attended and some were just so not into it that i just felt like leaving, need to point out that Renee was at the top of the best.. anyway, back to today.. when i was heading to the washroom, i wondered.. was looking forward for combat the whole day and why dun i give it a try, it’s a female instructor after all!

Was the last to enter the studio and many 1st timers were there today, got a spot right in front and middle ( i seldom do that just cuz there are no other place to stand tat has vision of the mirror). The warm up started and wow~!!!! this instructor has a nice sweet voice!! not like any typical combat tomboy-ish aggresive style.. she was just so cute yet tough, and never had i seen a person doing combat with tat kinda sweet smile always on her face.. her petite figure totally chilli padi-ed up and her technique was slightly above average..but again it’s her oh so cute smile even though shouting and motivating us up, plus they way she kicks up, it’s adorable..it inspired me, and i had a great session sweating it all out..

Had some words with her after class, and apparently she is here only for replacements at the moment, and will kick off her session after the 1st Q of the year. Will be looking forward to that.. and when i shook her hand as intro manners - ”su-yee”, her hand was like a kid’s.. well size apart, it was warm and tender..  

*he-uh– kacha!*

“Straddle”

Came across THE best seperation letter which is a letter Dan wrote to Connie while they are having their “colling period” apart. Dan was writing in how he misses banging his ex-wife and trying to relate all his then-after “legal” affairs with other women, most notably with the single mom where this word “straddle” appear.

“So she put it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves”
*it stands for a grandma’s mirror

Somehow, this word triggered my super curiosity and i can’t wait to dictionary it. Actually it’s more of the behind part of the sentence that made me wanna know the infront part.

This is what dictionary.com says:
“to stand wide apart, as the legs”
“to spread (the legs) wide apart”

Either one, it still made me wonder..

11 Things to Hate About Interns

hah! Must have caught some controversial attention with titles like tat. But guess when it’s coming towards an end for another batch of intern, ppl do get emotional and words like this just comes out.

A brief intro: Interns are students that comes to the company for several months of practical (depending on the university but generally it ranges from 3-5 months). They are all kinds of ppl, would really like to have a posting on all the passed interns yet this time around, will focus on the 3 most recent ones from MMU (u know who u are).

Now, the cast:

From (left to right, strictly no order in preference)
David Down (DD) - That oh so charming smile..this picture showcases his naturality in posing for pictures, and he is  tallest and longest of all..
Jingyi – Mistakenly called chinyee (in confusion with 1 of our client), she came charging after me right after i took this picture of hers! And I still am confused wat’s wrong with this snap..
Popoye – The ostrich shot, he is just so cute sometimes that u can resist wanna clutch his biceps and feel it..

Now to the point, 11 reasons to hate interns: (u’ll know if it’s u)

1. We share everything we know to them, they ask we try to answer. Things in this company is as transparent as window shopping in the red light district of Armsterdam, u see them and u approach them if u interested. As long as they approach us and ask us, we will try to serve them well! And after they are done and satisfied, they leave, something like day-light prostitution but rather than paying, they get paid!
2. They eat too much. It makes us wonder whether studying in university is like prison, and now with the company they overeat with 3 normal portion dishes in 1 meal, 2 burgers at once, 2 roti telurs together gether, and yes u got it, a whole mountain of mixed rice. Yet, they say they are skinny.
3. They like to laugh at almost every chance. It’s a working place and sometimes serious things are treated as joke. They are unable to distinguish when to laugh or smile, we call this inappropriate office gestures.
4. They bring in foreign language that don’t make much sense. “Down la like tat”, “Down lor”, “Ma de”, and the most popular “Fark You” - pronounced in a very professional way.
5. Extention of #4, they influence our colleagues to come out with lousy local languages. “poh-tong poh-tong la”, “hai hao la”, “wu liao ar ni”
6. They are so eager to learn that they just enjoy asking. Oh we really appreciate this kinda intern attitude, just as long as u don’t ask till we dunno how to answer and make us feel stupid, guess this applies more to myself!
7. They write too much. Some of them abuse the given company email and indirectly spam us with great articles and information. This make us feel bad as sometimes we don’t show that much enthusiasm back to them.
8. They pay for monthly parking pass while some of the permanent colleagues doesn’t. A straight forward sign to show that they have greater spending power than us.
9. When u look at them, just for the sake of looking:
   • 1 will make his eyes rounder and larger, with a closed up smiley lips and look back at u
   • 1 will look at u and show u his darlie teeths and then look back at his monitor
   • 1 will keep on bouncing the head upwards with the look of “wat, wat… wat???” eyes, until u give some more discrete response to her
10. When u touch them:
    • on the biceps and say “wah popoye orhh”, 1 will kecut and move away and say “OOIi!!” while giving a paiseh smile, knowing that he has the nicest biceps in the office. Not applicable if he is focus doing something serious, u can raba all u like.
    • 1 will allow u touching his back and if lucky, shoulders. If u touch touch act naturally and dun look at him, he will just go on and allow it and give some grining smiling sounds. Sometimes this 1 is good and allows the ass spanking
    • 1 more dunno how to touch
11. and lastly…They are about to leave and this it the most hated thing about them!

any more to add on?

Farewell Mascot

Saw this thing hopping around in the office today.. a farewell gift?

Red Riding Hood

Venue – Staff carpark, Catholic High School, PJ. And they say it belongs to a student?  

The Reeal ADIDAS

Spotting the narrowband with his ADIDAS long sleeve T-shirt, being pretty obvious of his intention:

 All Day I Dream About Sex

ADIDAS! Now i know why i don’t have a single Adidas shirt..

“plutoed” – potatoed?

“Pluto” our beloved cutey, taught-to-be-purple lil’ planet is now no more a planet >> . Which leaves us with the mighty 8 planets left in our solar system. And here’s for the word’s most popular word of 2006 – “plutoed”, voted by the American Dialect Society. 

“demote or devalue someone or something as happened to the former planet Pluto when the General Assembly of the International Astronomical Union decided Pluto no longer met its definition of a planet.” >>

Poor thing.. we’ve been living in a world where pluto is not only a planet, but a saliva infected – tougue twistable – never injurable yellow doggie.. they should never demote another cutey..